To Strong Independent Woman,

“My problem is that I haven’t been in a real relationship yet. I am scared that I could lose the “strong independent woman” part of me that I am so proud of.

Of course a new relationship changes you. But how can I find the right balance of being someone’s partner and being myself? “

Hey Strong Independent Woman,

Not being in a real relationship is never a problem, it is just something that hasn’t happened yet. I think one of the biggest stresses that could ever be put on a relationship is that pressure to be in one. It clouds peoples thoughts and it makes the bond impersonal, which is never a good base to build a relationship from. The best bases are built from the bonds that form over time. The bonds that form after discussing the boundaries, expectations and most definitely future goals.

If the “strong independent woman” is something you are so proud of, then you hold that up and let whoever it is that you hope to get closer with see that it is important to you. It is so important that you never let someone change you in a relationship, because at the end of the day, you are your own go to person.

In my opinion, if you have such a strong connection with yourself and you are asking yourself these kinds of question, you are probably ready for a real relationship. New relationships will change you, yes. But the changes will never be as big as taking your main characteristic and disregarding it. You will always be a strong independent woman, and that will not change. The only thing that will change is that you are a strong and independent woman that enjoys being with someone, spending time with them, and that you could possibly love them some day.

As for the last part, the right balance is super easy for such a strong woman. The key to being a good partner, is to be yourself, because a good partner will love you for all of your traits! Healthy relationships often do not affect dependency, as if a partner becomes heavily dependent on the other, it could eventually create a strain in the long run!

You will definitely find someone that will love you for being independent, maybe even someone as strong as yourself!

So much love, Mazie

To Self Loathing,

“There is a part of me who can’t let go of who I used to be. I try to ignore what people say but no matter how far I run I still feel their words cutting into me. I don’t want to be a label anymore:( – Self loathing”

Hey there Self Loathing,

Sometimes we have such a difficult time letting go of the past, because we are so terrified of the future. This is super similar to how well we progress in our livelihood; we have such a hard time letting go of what we were because we are scared of what we might become. This is actually pretty common, even though it might be one of the loneliest feelings in the world. 

The biggest step is embracing the change. Changing as you age is almost inevitable, as some people do decide to never grow up, it is simply in our dna to eventually part from our younger years. Sure, you might always like ice cream or batman or cats, but you might not express those likes in the same manner you would have when you were young. This might be the hardest part of growing up: letting go.

The next thing you should reflect on is what made you so scared of letting go. What is stopping you from letting go of what you used to be. Why are you having such a difficult time. When you figure out whatever that reason is, make sure you take care of it too. If it is lack of closure, or comfort, maybe if it is someone from your past, tie up those loose strings and get ready to move on.

It gets tiresome trying to ignore what people might be saying about you, I honestly think that it might be an record on repeat for everyone, just a constant loop of theoretical mean things. Maybe it is time to throw the record play out and upgrade to something a little more positive. Instead of focusing on the bad things people might be saying, think about the good things they could be saying about you. The good thing about this is that it isn’t even vain! When you walk down the street and see someone just think to yourself, “Hey, that person is totally checking out my hair” or “Hey, she really liked my shirt.” It will be hard at first, but once you get in the habit of it, it will not only just be a positive change, but a great well-deserved ego boost. There is nothing vain about loving yourself, and never let anyone tell you differently.

Lastly, the label. Unfortunately in the society today it is super difficult to not be a label anymore…. honestly if I walk down the street, labels even pop into my head when I see people, and I hate that, but it is normal. Our generation is obsessed with know things and reciting things, and quoting and reporting things…. (Its facebook’s fault) We like to be able to associate people we know or don’t know with different social norms. Its how humans categorize other humans now. I mean, it is better than associating with ethnicity or colour, but it is a little bit ridiculous. My tip to you is don’t let yourself become a label. Don’t fall under any certain category. If you don’t want to be labeled, you dress however you want to, speak to and about anyone/thing you want and be interested in whatever you want, not influences or anything. Once you get comfortable with all of that, you’ll be your own category!

Hope this helps you out Self (Loving c;)
- Mazie

365 Haiku Challenge: Week 34

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235.

Little white petals,

Fluffy yellow pollen pile.

Reahes for the sun.

236.

The pink fluffy sky,

it tastes like cotton candy,

melts when you touch it.

237.

Pleasant surprises,

Super crazy happenstance,

the expectations.

238.

Intangible dreams,

Walk on water just to sink.

Dreams can take their turns.

239.

Smiling for me now,

Teeth pointy like a nightmare,

Please don’t smile at me.

240.

Just the simple touch,

Anything would be just fine,

If you still touched me.

241.

The breeze through my hair,

It whistles into my ears,

And plays on my skin.

August News and Updates and an EXCITING Milestone!

Hey pieces, 
Hope all is well on your side of the screen! 

So I’ve been a bit (or a bunch) busy this past few days. Between working and planning for school and getting a new hair cut and stuff things have been pretty packed. Aside from those things I do have a bunch of things that I need to put in here though! Lets start with the most exciting!

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We got to 7000 views!! Which is kind of insane for a blog that has taken more hiatus than….. *insert bad joke here*
I think from now on I am going to concern myself more with follower counts! Well at least until we hit 10k…. cause thats going to definitely be a contest and a giveaway!! 

SPEAKING OF GIVEAWAYS! I have been contacted but Eden Literary, and I have some exciting news!! I have been asked to review Deirdra Eden’s new book “The Watchers: Knight of Light” I am about halfway through and loving it in all of its whimsy and on September first I will be posting my review for the new book along with an AMAZING GIVEAWAY!  Don’t worry I will definitely keep you all posted! 

Also, we have had all kinds of involvement with the advice column! I am having some banners made up and what not, just to make it all official! I have a bunch of posts all lined up for Wednesday and am looking for more people to give advice to. If you need advice with anything from anxiety, depression or relationships to school, wellness and decisions please please email me, or comment, or leave me a message on the ask.fm/theselittlepieces! 

Over the past couple days I have been thinking a lot about reorganizing the blog. Sometimes I feel like it is just a pool of everything I like and that it isn’t organized enough. Probably going to do that one one of my days off this week! 

I have been spending so much time couponing and getting freebies this week that I forgot to mention that I have signed up to do a bunch of product reviews! Pretty excited to see what happens with all of that! I will most likely designate a post explaining all the websites I used and all the couponing tips and tricks and what not!

We have made 7% of our goal on the Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College crowdfunding page! If you haven’t had a chance to look at it, please please feel free to go check it out, contribute or share the page anywhere and everywhere! We need it to spread like wild fire!

Stay tuned this week for some exciting new posts!!
- Maz

Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College

 ngnc  

Hey everyone! For those of you who may remember, I am the president and founder of the Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College.  We are the largest club on campus and we are currently doing some crowdfunding on indiegogo! Here is the link: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/nerds-and-geeks-of-niagara-college

I will just copy and paste the story from the page!

Hello, My name is Mazie Bishop, and I am the founder and President of the Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College (NGNC)

The NGNC is a place for the proclaimed Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College. For the serious gamers, the RPG Players, comic book hoarders, otakus, the fan girls and guys basically any and all fandoms/interests. 

I started this club to create a community so that people with such strong and passionate interests could meet others like them, and learn about other awesome things. My aim at first was to bring together a few people to form a group, but within the first month of school in 2013, we had already reached 100 members. By the second month of school we had 300+ members… and for a school club, that is pretty insane. We are the largest club on campus to date, and we are always growing. Currently our member base is 100 students, but school hasn’t even started yet, and we cannot even begin to guess how many students will join this year. 

We have successfully created a safe place to have fun, meet unique people and to share some of the most interesting conversations in history, and that is more than I could ever ask for.

 

What We Need

We are fundraising in hopes to raise $500 to go towards not only this school year, but to hopefully invest in other merchandise to raise more money for the years to come. I want to create a sustainable club that will be able to run, even after I graduate.

The $500 will cover:
- $100 will cover any giveaways or contests we plan to host, whether there are gift card giveaways, or movie tickets or maybe even convention ticket giveaways. 
- $250 will be put towards renting out space to host multiple big events like movie viewings, or gaming tournaments on campus. We already have the equipment (from our members and our friends involved with tech) we just need the space to do it.
- $150 will be put towards getting new tshirt designs, maybe some buttons or lanyards made up, and we have plans to host a nerdy bake sale/craft show at the end of the year to raise money for the year following! 

The first thing that anyone who contributes will receive is the purest satisfaction that they supported a community full of the most unique and passionate (and nerdy) artists, musicians, photographers, filmmakers, game developers, computer analysts and writers…. and that should feel pretty great! 

It is one of the most rewarding accomplishments of mine that I get to say that I brought all of these amazing people together, now just imagine how great it will feel to support them!

We are also working on some pretty great designs for a badge that you can put on your site/ blog or social media that will express that you supported the Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College.

The Impact

 

If we can raise this money we will be able to focus more on building the community and worry less about how we are going to get the funding to do so. The first year was so much fun, and we all got to know each other really well, but there are not very many places that can accommodate 300+ members. Our school does let us book rooms for smaller events, but there are capacity limits that we always fear we will go over and by funding us, you will be removing that stress completely.

This club has become a family and a support group for many, especially the students that  are so far away from home during the school year. We hope to not only grow more of a member base and reach more students, but to definitely start giving back to our amazing school that has allowed us to build such a unique community.

 

Other Ways You Can Help

If you are unable to contribute but would still love to get involved we would greatly appreciate if you could pass this along and post it for everyone to see. We need all the love we can get and that would really help us out. It is super simple to share this page through the Indiegogo sharing tools.

Thank you so sincerely for reading this and for your time and contributions!

Live Long and Prosper!
- Mazie Bishop,
President of the Nerds and Geeks of Niagara College,” 

As of right now, we have raised $15 in our first day! We are completely thrilled with the amount of sharing and contributions we have had! 

If you could share this page and let everyone know that we are a great club to support, we would greatly appreciate it! 
Thank you so so much for reading this and for sticking with me!

- Maz

NGNCSUPPORTER

To Anxious and Depressed

“I have anxiety and depression. I always feel like people are talking about me. The worst part is I’m right most of the time. How do you become more likeable? Because I’ve tried being myself and being nice. It doesn’t work.”

Dear Anxious and Depressed,

I know first hand what you are going through, but I couldn’t begin to say that we have been through the exact same thing. Everyones situation is different in so many ways but I can definitely give you some advice.

Firstly, no matter what, you have to know that it is not always going to be this hard. You need to have hope in the fact that if you want to change it, you can change it. There are so many resources and places you can go, or people you can talk to that are trained to help you if you need it. When you are ready to get better and to take care of the anxiety and depression, that will always be there for you, you just need to do it when you are ready.

Next, you need to try really hard to not think about what other people think about you. If you don’t have actual proof that people are talking about you, 99% of the time they actually aren’t. People are always going to talk unfortunately, but that is completely normal. This generation (assuming we are somewhat close in age) is obsessed with talking and expressing opinions, and knowing other’s opinions and just always having something to report, and it is unfortunate, but sometimes people just don’t have anything better to do. You just need to know that no matter what they say, the only thing that matters is your opinion of yourself as well as all the people who love and care about you. 

Most of the time people with anxiety and depression get a slight case of paranoia about what other people might be saying because of all the negative things that they think about themselves. This can be rationalized as: “Well if all of these things are wrong with me, then all of those people must be talking about it too.” However, you will always always be your worst critic and 9 times out of 10 people don’t see all the negative things that you might. 

In the case that people are talking about you, and that you have proof of this, then I advise you to either ignore them and move on because their opinions don’t actually matter or you can confront them and let them know they are not being very cool, you don’t appreciate it at all, and that they wouldn’t like it if you said those things about them behind their backs. 

As for the being more likeable part, I’m not 100% sure what the definition of likeable might be, because everyone’s definition is different. Thats a big indicator that you just need to find the right people, and that you might not have found them yet. Just always remember that you never ever need to change you but just simply change your surroundings. If your anxiety will allow it, try meeting some new people that have some similar interests to you, or maybe some mutual friends. There are all kinds of online communities for people that also suffer from anxiety, that will connect you with people that know what you might be going through.

Most importantly just know that you are never alone, and that no matter how dark it gets, the sun always comes up eventually!

Hope this helps!
- Sincerely, Mazie

To PushOverPete

“mazie i have a friend whos always putting me down and forcing me into stressful situations and its at the point that im getting frustrated cuz i dont want to hurt their feelings by standing up for myself. what do i do? -pushoverpete”

Hey PushoverPete, 

Sometimes it is super difficult to put yourself before a friend because some people just cannot say no and this is not uncommon. The most important thing that you need to remember is that you have to be comfortable and on the same level in any friendship or relationship. If one person is pushing you into stressful situations and you aren’t standing up for yourself, yes it keeps your friend content but inside you will slowly get angrier and angrier and it will eventually turn into resentment.

The most important thing that you need to do in this situation is you need to take a step back and evaluate the friendship. Ask yourself: “What is this friendship contributing to my life?” “What would my life be like without this friend?” If the answer for the first question is negative and the second answer is positive, you might want to think about whether or not this friendship should progress any further. If it is the opposite (positive and then negative) you really need to take that step and let that friend know that some of the things they are making you do or saying to you, are making you feel bad about yourself and  are stressing you out. 

8/10 times the friend will take this to heart and respect that you trusted them enough to talk to them about it, but the other 2/10 times the friend might not think they need to change, and it is in this case that you will know that you most likely need to back away slowly… (or run?) 

In the end, you are the one you see every single morning and every single night, and you are the one you need to care about most in situations like this. You are important and relevant and if your friend can’t respect that, than that friend isn’t worth your time. A friend should always want you to do well, and feel loved and cared for, not the opposite.

I hope this helps you out, (not so pushover)Pete!
-Maz

—————————————————————–
I will be answering more questions today! So if you send them to my email and/or my ask.fm/theselittlepieces, I can definitely respond quickly!

Thanks a handful!
-Maz xoxo

Now for Something New

Hey Pieces,

I’ve been thinking a lot about column ideas for the school year and a lot of people have asked me if I would be interested in writing some kind of advice column. After much thought I have decided that I am definitely going to try to launch an advice column. Each Wednesday I will answer a few peoples questions or emails.

Send me an email at mazie.bishop (at) gmail (dot) com or a question to www.ask.fm/theselittlepieces

Send me any questions regarding health, wellness, relationships, writing, art, life, decisions, priorities, ANYTHING! Chances are if I can’t answer your questions I can definitely send you some resources to help you out more.

So please feel free to send me some things, whether it is anonymous or with a title, just let me know how you would like to be addressed!

Talk to you all soon hopefully!
– Maz

Haikus-day Tuesday: 365 Haiku Challenge – Week 33

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228.

Brain fills over years,

All the knowledge and wisdom,

Reading through ages.

229.

All my happiness,

brought into my life by you,

Thanks for loving me.

230.

The positive days,

Turning my experience,

Into memories,

231.

The love is changing,

Altering and strengthening,

becoming one piece.

232.

Its adventure time,

A huge case of wander lust.

Lets travel the world.

233.

Life is moving fast.

Things are getting so crowded.

Busy sardine life.

234.

I’m not scared of death,

I used to be, but not now.

Inevitable.

RIP Poochy Pants

 

 

On August 2nd, 2014, we lost one of the most beautiful beings my life has ever been graced by. Asia Bear was one of the sweetest and silliest and most loving dogs I have ever met and she was so well loved and completely deservingly spoiled.

My little derp was 8 when she passed, which is super normal for a rottweiler. 8-10 is as old as they get as they have huge huge bone masses. For a while she had been having trouble with her hips but with some natural medication she was able to walk, and run with no pain. About 2 weeks before she passed, she had a mini stroke, which made her balance a little off and she would come in and out of confusion, but the vet said she was not in pain, and as long as she could still do her business outside, she’d be fine.

Every few days she would have another itty bitty stroke. They were so mild that we didn’t even notice them until the morning when she would be missing a motor skill or would look a little different. I said goodbye to her a week before it happened.
The night before the day she left us, she had her worst stroke yet, she was unable to walk, unable to close her mouth completely, and unable to go outside. She was far too amazing of a dog to be put through that kind of pain and humiliation. We thought of how she would be feeling so degraded, being the independent dog she was. So after much thought and so many treats and breakfast eggs, we decided it was time to let her go. We don’t know how much pain she was in, but she left us at 10:30 that morning.

Any other time she had ever gone to the vet, she had to be heavily sedated and muzzled (even though she never bit anyone ever) just incase she got too excited. She never liked strange people near her humans, especially mom, but this time she walked herself in, and she laid down on the bed and just closed her eyes. It was like she was submitting, like she was ready. It was like she knew her time had came. Mom hugged her and whispered all the names of the people she loved in her ears so she could remember and that no matter where we go when we pass, she’d be able to find them.

I haven’t really talked about it much, but I felt as though such an important part of my life had to be posted about. I’m happy that she isn’t suffering anymore, but now we all are. It’s all the little things, like the way she would rest her head in your lap and look up at you, or the way she would gallop around like a baby dear after she went to the washroom, or the way that she roll around in the wrapping paper on christmas, or the way she’d dance for her timbits. The puppy times, when she was in training and she was yappy and a butthead but we loved her, even the times when she would guard her babies, which were just 3 stuffed animal rottweilers, (she was a great mom) All these things don’t even cover how much I completely miss her.

My home doesn’t feel like a home anymore… when I walk in it feels like some kind of lifeless hotel, like some empty vessel.

In her final days her schedule went something like this:
-eat eggs with mom
– watch birds on the deck with mom
– nap with mom
– watch mom
– lay with mom
– eat dinner (mom watching)
– go to bed with mom

and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I love you forever and a day baby bear, and I know that no matter where we go when we die, that you will find me when I do.

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