Don’t get me wrong, I even said yesterday that standing beside you is exhilarating, and I feel like I am travelling deeper into this beautiful place whenever we are near, but I think I need new background scenery. I have had urges before, of just stepping onto a train, and taking it as far as it goes, then getting on another one and doing the same, just getting lost until late at night when all the trains are closed, I have the excitement and panic of finding a way home or finding somewhere safe.
Why would you do that to yourself? you ask? BECAUSE I NEED A CHANGE. I need inspiration, I need a reason to say that I am having a great time while I am not in school, instead of having to reply, I am so lonely and bored all of the time.
Maybe I don’t need to run away to feel this way. Maybe I just have to take on a big project or find something new to do.
Either way, I promised you last night, that I would not give up and leave. So I guess I am here till my birthday?
It will get better, though.
Sorry , another rant.
Have an amazing, rainyish day ( if its rainyish where you are, it is here…)
Love always, Mazie.