“There is a part of me who can’t let go of who I used to be. I try to ignore what people say but no matter how far I run I still feel their words cutting into me. I don’t want to be a label anymore:( – Self loathing”
Hey there Self Loathing,
Sometimes we have such a difficult time letting go of the past, because we are so terrified of the future. This is super similar to how well we progress in our livelihood; we have such a hard time letting go of what we were because we are scared of what we might become. This is actually pretty common, even though it might be one of the loneliest feelings in the world.
The biggest step is embracing the change. Changing as you age is almost inevitable, as some people do decide to never grow up, it is simply in our dna to eventually part from our younger years. Sure, you might always like ice cream or batman or cats, but you might not express those likes in the same manner you would have when you were young. This might be the hardest part of growing up: letting go.
The next thing you should reflect on is what made you so scared of letting go. What is stopping you from letting go of what you used to be. Why are you having such a difficult time. When you figure out whatever that reason is, make sure you take care of it too. If it is lack of closure, or comfort, maybe if it is someone from your past, tie up those loose strings and get ready to move on.
It gets tiresome trying to ignore what people might be saying about you, I honestly think that it might be an record on repeat for everyone, just a constant loop of theoretical mean things. Maybe it is time to throw the record play out and upgrade to something a little more positive. Instead of focusing on the bad things people might be saying, think about the good things they could be saying about you. The good thing about this is that it isn’t even vain! When you walk down the street and see someone just think to yourself, “Hey, that person is totally checking out my hair” or “Hey, she really liked my shirt.” It will be hard at first, but once you get in the habit of it, it will not only just be a positive change, but a great well-deserved ego boost. There is nothing vain about loving yourself, and never let anyone tell you differently.
Lastly, the label. Unfortunately in the society today it is super difficult to not be a label anymore…. honestly if I walk down the street, labels even pop into my head when I see people, and I hate that, but it is normal. Our generation is obsessed with know things and reciting things, and quoting and reporting things…. (Its facebook’s fault) We like to be able to associate people we know or don’t know with different social norms. Its how humans categorize other humans now. I mean, it is better than associating with ethnicity or colour, but it is a little bit ridiculous. My tip to you is don’t let yourself become a label. Don’t fall under any certain category. If you don’t want to be labeled, you dress however you want to, speak to and about anyone/thing you want and be interested in whatever you want, not influences or anything. Once you get comfortable with all of that, you’ll be your own category!
Hope this helps you out Self (Loving c;)